Guest column: This parent supports kindness and respect, not culture wars that harm our kids

Mother’s Day should have been a day of joy and relaxation (or so the commercials tell me). Instead, I found myself in a state of anxious dread asking myself one question: How am I supposed to mother my daughter when her education, safety and ability to thrive — along with those of other children — are under attack? 

I’m a local mom of a beautiful toddler, a new homeowner, wife and an organizer at MomsRising.org. After close to a decade of fighting alongside moms for affordable child care, prohibitions against pregnancy discrimination and health care (and as the mom of a future public school student). I was excited to speak at the Duval County School Board meeting on May 3 in opposition to a resolution supporting the Parental Rights in Education law.  

Also known as the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, this law would create a hostile environment for LGBTQ+ kids and families. It would also subject our schools to frivolous and expensive lawsuits that would drain school resources at a time when staffing is down and budgets tight.  

I believe our funds would be better spent on sports, art or music programs and quality instruction.  

Despite my years of organizing, this was my first school board meeting and even though my daughter is a few years away from kindergarten, this was too important for me to sit on the sidelines, because it will impact her in the coming years. So I took time off from work and went to the school board. 

What I found there was appalling.  

As someone who believes that everyone deserves kindness and respect, I was shocked to see moms lined up (some with Moms for Liberty T-shirts), calling the LGBTQ+ community “groomers” and “pedophiles” and making hateful comments in the overflow rooms, all aimed directly at the LGBTQ+ families and teachers who came to share their stories. This went on for hours.  

And LGBTQ+ families are not their only target. As I write this, books are being banned in our state — even math books. Schools have lost funding for following health precautions during a pandemic, including in Duval County. That literally means less money for our kids' education. And our reproductive rights, our basic ability as women to plan for the well-being of our families and health, is under attack.  

I refuse to sit by and allow an extremist, vocal minority to co-opt my mothering and make decisions about my child’s future, as well as the future of all Florida families. I hope moms, parents and caregivers who want to see our community be a place where all families, regardless of gender, race, identity, zip-code, or other factors are safe, respected and thriving, will join this fight.  

Moms for Liberty does not reflect my values as a parent: kindness, community, respect and freedom. Nor is Governor Ron DeSantis a voice for me as a parent. They don’t reflect the values of most families in our community. But if we don’t speak up now, parents’ rights and dreams for our children will be replaced with hate and harmful attacks on families and our community. 

This is what I want as a parent: For all kids to have a healthy environment to learn and grow. For all parents and caregivers to know their families are valued and respected. Support for K-12 parent feedback programs like PTAs and Booster programs to give more of a chance to have open and honest conversations about schools, so the views of the vocal few will not overwhelm the majority. For families to have access to safe, affordable housing; expanded, full-day VPK; affordable child care; paid family and medical leave; and accessible, affordable health care. 

Florida families deserve better than culture wars. We deserve real, family-centered solutions.

Nina Perez is national director of early learning for MomsRising. She is a Jacksonville resident. 

This guest column is the opinion of the author and does not necessarily represent the views of the Times-Union. We welcome a diversity of opinions.